Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain on TV, so how do the plants grow?
(UK) A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which does not… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross. Come naked. -more-
An American tourist in Northern Ireland:
An American tourist in Northern Ireland was walking down a street in Belfast, all of a sudden someone puts a gun to his back and says: “Are you a Catholic or Protestant”
The American thinks “If I say Catholic he’ll shoot me because he’s a Protestant, but If I say Protestant he’ll shoot me because he’s a Catholic” thinking about it some more he answers: “I’m Jewish”
The man behind him laughs and says “Praise be to Allah, I’m the luckiest Arab in Ireland”
Dumbest Questions Asked by Banff Park Tourists
1. How do the elk know they’re supposed to cross at the “Elk Crossing” signs?
2. At what elevation does an elk become a moose?
3. Tourist: “How do you pronounce ‘Elk’?
Park Information Staff:” ‘Elk’ ”
4. Are the bears with collars tame?
5. Is there anywhere I can see the bears pose? more