Twenty years ago I got a ticket for running a stop sign.  The cop was STANDING ON THE CORNER, looking me right in the eyes.  I stopped, he said I didn’t stop and well you know who the judge believed.  He was probably just clearing his quota that month and I was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Really, I’m not bitter, but it did plant an idea that I believe in.

We don’t need stop signs.  Seriously, we don’t.  Think about it- if we replaced every stop sign with a yield sign, and people actually yielded, everything would be fine.  Of course this will never happen, because you know and I know that the twits among us would just ignore the yield signs and it would be traffic armegeddon.  But I can dream…

An officer witnessed a car slow and cruise through a stop sign. The officer proceeded to pull the car over. The driver, very irate, asked why he was pulled over. The trooper calmly explained “Sir, you failed to come to a complete stop at the stop sign back there.” “What does it matter,” the driver yells, “I looked both ways and there was no-one around. I demand that you tell me why I should have to come to a complete stop.” The trooper then reached into the vehicle and pulled the driver out. He started beating him over the head with his nightstick. After a few seconds, the trooper calmly asked the driver, “Tell me, would you like me to SLOW DOWN or COME TO A COMPLETE STOP?”

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"Stop it You Twit!" by was published on December 17th, 2006 and is listed in Assorted Twits, Driving.

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