So I’m at the mall- (they’ve got a cool food court with 17 fast food restaurants).  Drive round and round looking for a parking space.  Ever notice these twits who follow you like some kind of creepy stalker waiting for you to get into your car?  Well I considered it but said screw that.  I whip into the valet space (hey, it’s a nice mall). 

Valet comes over screaming, “Hey you can’t park here!  It’s valet only.” 
I look at him and say, “Okay, give me a claim check”. 
You could see the wheels spinning.  “What?”
“Just give me a check, I’ll pick it up later.”

He was utterly baffled that I’d be willing to PAY for a service I didn’t receive- but I know something he doesn’t know- one of the Laws of the Twit. If it’s under $20 versus arguing with a Twit, take the $20 fee everytime.  You’ll save yourself an hour of pain and confuse the twit.

"Twit Parking" by was published on January 20th, 2007 and is listed in Assorted Twits, Driving.

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