So I go to button my collar for a party last night and the collar button hole and the button won’t meet.  Here’s an evaluation of the situation missing from mainstream media.  I am not big boned.  I do not have a thyroid condition.  It is not baby weight (what apparently is okay to have a decade after giving birth).  I eat too damned much junk and I don’t get enough exercise.  To fix it, I will have to get up off my lazy ass, put down the remote, and run, walk, stair step, bike or row until it goes away.  I do not need a low carb diet, just to eat less junk and more sensible food.  Whew, now I’ve accurately identified the problem, I can fix it- there was that so hard??? 

And another thing- if you’re so damn fat have trouble getting around, you do not get an extra wide scooter to haul you around- just fix the core problem.  Leave the scooters for people who really need them the elderly and the handicapped who can’t get around without them.  Although we should put guardrails on the sidewalks now…

 

Somebody Call 911

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"Tipping the Scales" by was published on February 3rd, 2007 and is listed in Assorted Twits, Health.

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