Twits in the Gym

 Ooops

Common courtesy isn’t.  When I was brought up, please, thank you, yes sir/ma’am wasn’t optional.  And any adult could smack you if you were a lippy little bastard.  Apparently there’s just not enough of that going on now-a-days.

I’m in the gym and some fat slob sweats all over the bench.  Huge signs all over- please wipe down equipment.  They must be for everyone but HIM.  He waddles off, leaving the 45lb plates on the bar.  Some 90lb highly perfumed dimwitted Barbie stands there staring at Lake Perspiration puzzled with her next course of action. 

Now I’m all for smelling good (or at least clean).  And I’m all for women spending time on their appearance to look their best.  But when I’m at the gym to lift, I don’t need a fashion plate so pungent that it makes me think the place is a french whorehouse (with better decor).  If you’re here to socialize, hang out in the cardio area and the lobby…

Anyway, I’m a nice guy (read that sucker).  I use my towel to wipe down the bench for her.  Her problem is now solved, I however now have fat guy wipings all over my towel.  She says, “I could have done that myself, I didn’t ask for your help!”  Stunned, I walk off as she continues, “well are you going to unload the weights???”

Debating whether she’s more arrogant or stupid, I cruise over to the counter to see if I can change out my towel for one with less Eau De Fat Bastard.

Here we go, moron at the counter.
Pit: Can I have another towel please.
Twit: You have one.
Pit: Oh, thank you, I didn’t realize that.  Did you go to college for the quick wit?
Twit: Nope, I don’t believe in college.
Pit: (Anger defusing, this could be fun) Really, how come?
Twit: It’s just a piece of paper man, it doesn’t mean anything.
Pit: You’re right,  I’m sure you’ll go far.
Twit: Yep, I’m going to be the assistant manager here in the next year, just you watch.
Pit: Hey look, that lady needs a hand.
Twit: I’m on it.

He runs over just as Barbie drops the 45lb plate on the floor with a loud CRASH!  As it woobles he manages to get a foot under it and yelps like little girl.  Sometimes stupid DOES get what it deserves.  During the confusion I swapped my towel for Barbie’s.