Dead Dog had a couple of really funny jokes:

Rick was in trouble — he forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really angry. She told him, ‘Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in less than 6 seconds AND IT HAD BETTER BE THERE!!’
The next morning, Rick got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.
Confused and curious, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, and brought the box in the house. She opened it and found a brand new…..BATHROOM SCALE!
Rick has been missing since Friday.
Please pray for him.

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, ‘Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.’
The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, ‘What would you like to talk about?’
‘Oh, I don’t know,’ said the stranger. ‘How about nuclear power?’ and he smiles.
‘OK,’ she said. ‘That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff- grass – . Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?’
The stranger, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it and says, ‘Hmmm, I have no idea.’
To which the little girl replies, ‘Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don’t know crap ?

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"Nuclear Power Versus Crap – Funny Joke" by was published on April 26th, 2008 and is listed in Funny Joke, Household.

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