AdamLuigi, a perpetual bachelor, owned one of the biggest and fastest-growing businesses in Miami, a furniture manufacturing shop. Friends convinced him that he needed to take a trip to Italy to check out the latest trends there, and maybe he could meet an available young Italian woman at the same time.

As he was checking into a hotel he struck up an acquaintance with a beautiful young lady. She only spoke Italian and he only spoke English–neither understood a word the other spoke. So he took out a pencil and a notebook and drew a picture of a taxi. She smiled, nodded her head and they went for a ride in the park. Later, he drew a picture of a table in a restaurant with a question mark and she nodded. So they went to dinner.

After dinner he sketched two dancers and she was delighted. They went to several nightclubs, drank champagne, danced and had a glorious evening. It had gotten quite late when she motioned for the pencil and drew a picture of a four-poster bed.

He was dumbfounded. To this day he says that he’s never been able to understand how she knew he was in the furniture manufacturing business.

One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his ax fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked,
“Why are you crying?”

The woodcutter replied that his ax had fallen into the water, and he needed the ax to make his living.

The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden ax.

“Is this your ax?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord again went down and came up with a silver ax. “Is this your ax?” the Lord asked.

Again, the woodcutter replied, “No.”

The Lord went down again and came up with an iron ax. “Is this your ax?” the Lord asked.

The woodcutter replied, “Yes.”

The Lord was pleased with the man’s honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happy.

Some time later the woodcutter was walking with his wife along the riverbank, and his wife fell into the river.

When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, “Why are you crying?”

“Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the river!”

The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez.

“Is this your wife?” the Lord asked.

“Yes,” cried the woodcutter.

The Lord was furious. “You lied! That is an untruth!”

The woodcutter replied, “Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I had said ‘no’ to Jennifer Lopez, You would have come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also said ‘no’ to her, You would have come up with my wife. Had I then said ‘yes,’ you would have given all three to me. Lord, I am a poor man, and am not able to take care of all three wives, so THAT’S why I said yes to Jennifer Lopez.”

The moral of this story is: Whenever a man lies, it is for a good and honorable reason, and for the benefit of others.

That’s our story, and we’re sticking to it.

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"Luigi, Furniture Manufacturer" by was published on January 8th, 2008 and is listed in Assorted Twits, Funny Stories.

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