Pit: I’d like to place an order for delivery.
Twit: You want it delivered?
Pit: (Suspecting where this is going) Yes.
Twit: Where are you?
Pit: (Provided address)
Twit: Is that in town?
Pit: Yes.
Twit: What are the cross streets
Pit:  (Okay, perhaps this is brain surgery here, but if you owned a delivery restaurant, wouldn’t you own a map?)  Provided cross streets.
Twit: Is that is town?  What’s the zip code.
Pit:  What’s your address (typing in background as I pull up google maps).  Okay, put the driver on with a pencil and paper and I’ll give you turn by turn directions.
Twit:  Sorry, he doesn’t speak English.
Pit: Lope, phone’s for you…

 

A few years ago I was applying for a job out of state.  The employer wanted hard copies of things like college transcripts, so I dutifully collected them (which was complicated enough to be another post…) and sent them out via FedEx.  I paid screw you short notice delivery fee- which I’m fine with.  Let’s face it, there’s no way my happy ass is going to drive 500 miles roundtrip to drop this off, so if you charge me a hundred bucks and it gets there fine, then I’m happy- the company makes a profit and it’s capitalism in action.   

Except it didn’t.  Turns out they have to fly it to a hub, then fly it to the destination.  And there was a weather delay AT THE HUB.  So it shows up late and I call for my refund.  Sorry, you’ll have to call this number.  Two idiots later, they offer me a partial refund.  I asked what part of guaranteed delivery they didn’t understand.     
“Well sir, you can’t hold us responsible for the weather.”
“Yes, I can, on time or free means just that.”
Big sigh.  Fine.  I got my refund a month later (and didn’t get the job because it was late).  So I won the battle but lost the war.      That was frustrating- I might have needed UPS…Giving UPS