Humor, Funny Pictures, Stories and Video at Twitfall » Health

Life Insurance

Pit — Sat, 22 Dec 2007 09:14:55 +0000

Going to need some insurance.

Mission Accomplished

Pit — Wed, 14 Mar 2007 09:41:22 +0000

Nice work on the smoking ban in Las Vegas.

Tipping the Scales

Pit — Sat, 03 Feb 2007 09:31:28 +0000

So I go to button my collar for a party last night and the collar button hole and the button won’t meet.Â Here’s an evaluation of the situation missing from mainstream media.Â I am not big boned.Â I do not have a thyroid condition.Â It is not baby weight (what apparently is okay to have a decade after giving birth).Â I eat too damned much junk and I don’t get enough exercise.Â To fix it, I will have to get up off my lazy ass,Â put downÂ the remote, and run, walk, stair step, bike or row until it goes away.Â I do not need a low carb diet, just to eat less junk and more sensible food.Â Whew, now I’ve accurately identified the problem, I can fix it- there was that so hard???Â

And another thing- if you’re so damn fat have trouble getting around, you do not get an extra wide scooter to haul you around- just fix the core problem.Â Leave the scooters for people who really need them the elderly and the handicapped who can’t get around without them.Â Although we should put guardrails on the sidewalks now…

Gaseous Emissions II

Pit — Fri, 26 Jan 2007 09:09:35 +0000

The human body is capable of some amazing things.Â Your heart pumps 2000 gallons of blood a day.Â Strength and flexibility can accomplish impressive things.Â Meanwhile there’s a hotel in El Paso, Texas that will probably have to burn down a hotel room Lope and I stayed in.Â There was a horrible sulfurous emission- the stench was tangible hours later.Â Mythbusters did a special on how to get the stench of death out of a car, they decided it couldn’t be done.Â Really sorry about that Embassy suites- hope the maids have hazmat suits…

Sit You Twit

Pit — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 09:38:58 +0000

Oh this political correctness bullshit just kills me.Â Â Loopy Swedish women have mounted (yes, I said mounted) a campaign to get Swedish, German and Austrian men to sit while they piss.Â Take a look here for the full article, scroll down to Now Sit.Â Men pull your balls out of your purse and act like…well…a man.