Recent Funny Joke

  • by Pit

    Several men are in the locker room of a golf club. A cell phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and begins to talk. Everyone else in the room stops to listen. MAN: “Hello.” WOMAN: “Honey, it’s me. Are you at the club?” MAN: “Yes.” WOMAN: “I am at […]

  • by Pit

    Holy smokes, one I could tell Mom. Wow. All across the kingdom, the news travelled quickly that the Queen’s bell-ringer, who faithfully served the royal family for decades, had passed. The Queen made the royal decree that she was looking for someone to come and take his place. The next day, a humble peasant was […]

  • by Pit

    Old man Murphy had worked down at the brewery for years, but one day , he just wasn’t paying attention and he tripped on the walkway and fell over into the beer vat and drowned. The foreman thought it should be his job to inform the widow Murphy of her old man’s death. He showed […]

  • by Pit

    A priest walked into a bar and found a raucous scene. Everyone was dancing, drinking and yelling, and the music was blaring. Suddenly, they noticed his entrance and the entire patronage became quiet. He approached the bar and asked to use the restroom. The barkeep leaned over and whispered, “I don’t think that’s a very […]

  • by Pit

    Three Blondes were all applying for the last available position on the Texas Highway Patrol. The detective conducting the interview looked at the three of them and said, “So y’all want to be cops, huh?” The blondes all nodded. The detective got up, opened a file drawer and pulled out a folder. Sitting back down, […]

  • by Pit

    Who lit the fuse on your tampon? Support Cannibalism-EAT ME! God is my copilot, but the Devil is my bombardier. I don’t have a license to kill. I have a learner’s permit. I wasn’t born a bitch. Men like you made me this way. Keep honking while I reload. Taxation WITH representation isn’t so hot, […]

  • by Pit

    A woman is having a bad day at the roulette tables in Vegas. Down to her last $100, completely exasperated, she cries, “What horrible luck! What in the world should I do now?” A gentleman next to her, trying to calm her down a bit, calmly suggests, “I don’t know… Why don’t you play your […]

  • by Pit

    One day, at a bus stop there was a girl who was wearing a skintight miniskirt. When the bus arrived and it was her turn to get on, she realized that her skirt was so tight she couldn’t get her foot high enough to reach to step. Thinking it would give her enough slack to […]

  • by Pit

    Dan Rather, Katie Couric, and an Israeli soldier were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded. Dan Rather said, “Well, I’m a Texan, so I’d like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili.” The leader nodded to […]

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  • Today in History

    • Friday, April 28, 2017
    • Holidays
      • No Holidays today
    • Birthdays
    • Events
      • ♦ Kiss Your Mate Day
      • ♦ TV-Turnoff Week
      • ♦ 585 War between Lydia and Media is ended by a solar eclipse.
      • ♦ 1686 First volume of Isaac Newton's PRINCIPIA is published.
      • ♦ 1754 Mutiny on the HMS Bounty occurs.
      • ♦ 1914 W. H. Carrier patents air conditioner.
      • ♦ 1919 First successful parachute jump is made.
      • ♦ 1942 "WW II" titled so, as result of Gallup Poll.
      • ♦ 1947 Thor Heyerdahl and Kon-Tiki sail from Peru to Polynesia.
      • ♦ 1952 WW II Pacific peace treaty takes effect.
      • ♦ 1974 Last Americans are evacuated from Saigon.
      • ♦ 1977 Christopher Boyce is convicted for selling satellite secrets.
    • Reminders
      • No Reminders today
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    • Cheshiresoft CDAY Almanac
    • © 2003 by Andrew Ziem
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