Imagine you’re eight years old. Like most kids, you don’t want to go to school. This precious little lass calls the demolition company to arrange for the untimely demise of her educational institution. The reactions of the the demolition company are almost as clever as Becky and her prank calls, all part of a morning [...]

The U.S. Post Office allows its customers to mail many things besides the familiar letter. A customer can send plants, insects, some types of live animals and some dead ones, too. A direct marketing research company surreptitiously mailed a football, a claw hammer, and even a water ski, with nothing other than adequate postage and [...]

It was a simple plan. All he wanted to do was eat tacos with his girlfriend. But things went bad for Justin- oh so bad. I don’t get to see my girlfriend too much because I work so many hours a week that it’s almost impossible. That, mixed with her schedule, doesn’t make for much [...]

So when I was a little Pit Mom came home one day fuming mad. She was in an elevator and the gentleman next to her asked her if she minded if he smoked. She was a militant anti-smoker (which is probably why I smoke cigars…), and all she could muster was “Yes I do”. He [...]

So growing up they had this fun little show called Afraid of the Dark. I used to watch it because it was entertaining- I didn’t realize I was being taught important life lessons. Such as: Are You Afraid of the Dark? wasn’t just a great horror show for children, it was also a great educational [...]

# “One of my friends has a stutter and a lot of people think that’s a bad thing, but to me that’s just like starting certain words with a drum roll. That’s not an impediment, that’s suspense! What’s he going to say? Car?? …or Carnival?? …Carburetor!?!? Man… # “The worst time to have a heart [...]

I’m taking my MBA coursework- wish the curriculum was like this… Lesson 1: A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor. [...]

Interesting how an outdoorsman can learn about chemistry. Little Gold Bond, a little peppermint soap- flaming gonads…what? Read Be Careful Where You Put That Stuff.

So it looks like Ryan Garns is about to get some action- and he’s going to get some help from his blog readership on making that happen. Live Blog Sex 9:45 Hello everyone! Welcome to my live blog. 9:46 I just got back from dinner with my girlfriend and, by all indications, it looks like [...]

…So this lady was really freaked out by the whole thing. She was sorta stuck in between thanking me, and catching her breath. So (and wtf did this come from I have no idea), I pulled out my PDA and said “This is Commander Navarrette, I saved the subject. The time is 4:39 pm.” She [...]