Dan Rather, Katie Couric, and an Israeli soldier were captured by terrorists in Iraq. The leader of the terrorists told them that he would grant them each one last request before they were beheaded.
Dan Rather said, â€œWell, Iâ€™m a Texan, so Iâ€™d like one last bowlful of hot spicy chili.â€
The leader nodded to an underling who left and returned with the chili.
Rather ate it all and said, â€œNow I can die content.â€
Katie Couric said, â€œIâ€™m a reporter to the end. I want to take out my tape recorder and describe the scene here and whatâ€™s about to happen. Maybe someday someone will hear it and know that I was on the job till the end.â€
The terror leader directed an aide to hand over the tape recorder and Couric dictated some comments.
She then said, â€œNow I can die happy.â€
The leader turned and said, â€œAnd now, Mr. Israeli tough guy, what is your final wish?â€
â€œKick me in the ass,â€ said the soldier.
â€œWhat?â€ asked the leader, â€œWill you mock us in your last hour?â€
â€œNo, Iâ€™m not kidding. I want you to kick me in the ass,â€ insisted the Israeli.
So the leader shoved him into the open and kicked him in the ass. The soldier went sprawling, but rolled to his knees, pulled a 9mm pistol from under his flak jacket, and shot the leader dead. In the resulting confusion, he jumped to his knapsack, pulled out his carbine and sprayed the terrorists with gunfire. In a flash, all terrorists were either dead or fleeing for their lives.
As the soldier was untying Rather and Couric, they asked him, â€œWhy didnâ€™t you just shoot them in the beginning? Why did you ask them to kick you in the ass first?â€
â€œWhat?â€ replied the Israeli, â€œand have you two assholes report that I was the aggressor?!