A construction crew was building a new house next door to a family. The family’s 5 year old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on, and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who complimented her and suggested that they take the dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account. When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I’ve been working with a crew building a house all week.” “My goodness,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week too?” “I will, if those fuckers at the lumber yard ever bring us the drywall,” replied the little girl.

There once was five year old boy who enjoyed playing with his train set. One afternoon, his mother happened to be standing by the door listening to the boy play. She was shocked when she heard him saying, “All right, all of you son of a bitches who want to get on the train, get on train. And all of you son of a bitches who want to get off the train, get off the train. And all of you son of a bitches who want to change seats, change seats now ’cause the train’s getting ready to leave. Whoo whooooo.”

The mother was shocked, and she scolded her son and said to him, “Now son, I want to go upstairs your room, you can’t play with your train set for two hours.” So the boy went to his room and didn’t even mention his train set for two hours. After the two hours were up, the boy asked his mom if he could play with his train set again. She said yes, and asked him if he understood why he was punished. He nodded his head yes, and off he went. The mother stood by door to listen to what her son would say. The boy sat down to his train set and calmly said, “Whoo whoooooo. All of you ladies and gentlemen who want to get on the train, get on the train. All of you ladies and gentlemen who want to get off the train, get off the train. Mom smiled and started to walk away. The boy continued, “And all you son of a bitches who are pissed ’cause the train is two hours late, go talk to the bitch in the kitchen.”

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"Five-Year-Old Viewpoints – Funny Joke" by was published on March 14th, 2008 and is listed in Funny Joke.

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