Yep, you’ve got no chance to win when you’re racing the Son of God.
racing-jesus

Reminds me of an old joke about golf.

Jesus And Moses On The Golf Course

Things are slow in Heaven one day, so Moses suggests to Jesus that they go down to Earth and play a round of golf; Jesus agrees.

On the first hole, there’s a long fairway with a water hazard before the green. Standing at the championship tee, Moses points to the novice tees and says “Jesus, I think we should tee off from up there. I don’t think we can make it over the water from here.”

Jesus replies, “I’ve seen Arnold Palmer make his shot from here many times, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, so can I.”

Jesus puts his ball down and drives it toward the green. It sails up over the fairway, out over the water, then SPLASH, it falls in the water. Moses walks out, parts the water, retrieves Jesus’ ball, and brings it back.

“Jesus,” Moses says, “I really think we should tee off from up there. I don’t think we can make it over the water from here.”

Jesus insists, “I’ve seen Arnold Palmer make his shot from here many times, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, so can I.”

Jesus agaiin puts his ball down and drives it toward the green. It sails up over the fairway, out over the water, then SPLASH, it falls in the water. Moses walks out, parts the water, retrieves the ball, and brings it back.

“Jesus,” Moses says, “I really don’t think we can make it over the water from here. If you shoot from back here again and your ball goes in the water, I’m not going to get it.”

Jesus again explains to Moses, “I’ve seen Arnold Palmer make his shot from here many times, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, so can I.”

Jesus again puts his ball down and drives it toward the green. It sails up over the fairway, out over the water, then SPLASH, it falls in the water. Moses looks at Jesus and stands at the tee, with no intention of retrieving Jesus’ ball. Jesus figures he’ll have to retrieve his own ball, so he walks down the fairway to the water hazard, and proceeds to walk on the water out to the point where his ball fell in.

Moses is still back at the tee when a foursome comes through and sees Jesus walking on water. “Holy mackerel!”, one of them says, “Does that guy think he’s Jesus?”

“No”, Moses answers, “he thinks he’s Arnold Palmer.”

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"Racing Jesus" by was published on March 22nd, 2009 and is listed in Funny Pictures.

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