75 Rejected Wedding Ring Inscriptions
By Will Kinkaid
My wife and I were looking for some ideas for wedding ring inscriptions for our anniversary. Jumping on the web, we found a few on Gardenâ€™s web. The ones that made us laugh were:
â€¢ Happy now? Good.
â€¢ Not for pawning
â€¢ Put me back on!
â€¢ Race you to the shower
â€¢ The toys are LEGALLY mine!
â€¢ Why Do You Have Your Ring Off?
So then I came up with some of my own:
â€¢ Cheaper than alimony
â€¢ Damn DNA tests
â€¢ Game over
â€¢ Hold my purse!
â€¢ Make me a sammich
â€¢ No more diets for me!
â€¢ Pull my ring finger
â€¢ So can I fart now?
â€¢ Stupid condom company
â€¢ The only pussy youâ€™ll be seeing now are my three cats
â€¢ Too late for a pre-nup
â€¢ Wedding sponsored by Remington
â€¢ Maury Says, â€œYou ARE the father!â€
Digging a little more I found a lovely list of 300 suggestions by Joanna Cal. While heartfelt and thoughtful, I thought they were missing something- full disclosure. The original sentiment is on the left, my as yet unspoken additions are in parenthesis. I give you 75 rejected wedding ring inscriptions, in alphabetical order.
1. A lifetime is all that I need… (to wreck yours)
2. A Perfect Fit … (until I ate that box of ho hos)
3. All My Heart … (and all my family, including Mom who hates you)
4. Always and forever … (nagging you)
5. Baby, I’m Amazed By You … (that youâ€™re so gullible)
6. Body, Mind And Heart … (I own your ass)
7. Bound To An Angel … (a Hellâ€™s Angel)
8. Burning for you … (or maybe thatâ€™s the Gonorrhea)
9. Committed to you … (I should be committed BY you to a mental facility)
10. Don’t Hope, Believe … (Iâ€™ll leave)
See the full list here.