# According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes, and women say the first thing they notice about men is they’re a bunch of liars.
# All the women moaning about finding a husband obviously never had one.
# Ask a woman how she stubbed her toe and she’ll say she walked into a chair, ask a man and he’ll say someone left a chair in the middle of the room.
# The difference between Government Bonds and men is that Government Bonds mature.
# The difference between man and E.T. is that E.T. phoned home.
# “Easy” is an adjective used to describe a woman who has the sexual morals of a man. (Nancy Linn-Desmond)
# An English professor wrote the words, “Woman without her man is nothing” on the blackboard and directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: “Woman, without her man, is nothing.”
The women wrote: “Woman! Without her, man is nothing.”
# Have you ever wondered why it takes MILLIONS of sperm and only one egg to make a baby? It’s because not one of those little surfers will stop and ask for directions!
# How can men and women process information differently if they’re given the same information? Simple, women begin their processing by listening! (Rhonda Hansome)
# If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant’s life, she will choose to save the infant’s life without even considering if there is a man on base. (Dave Barry)
# If diamonds are a girl’s best friend and a dog is man’s best friend, who really is the dumber sex?
# I’ve never been married, but I tell people I’m divorced so they won’t think something’s wrong with me. (Elayne Boosler)
# Man has his will, but woman has her way. (Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.)
# A man said to his wife one day, “I don’t know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.
“The wife responded, “Allow me to explain. God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Read the rest at Denny Davis.

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"Men and Women- Altogether Different" by was published on February 27th, 2009 and is listed in Funny Stories.

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