DangerA man who is friends with the manager at the local zoo is called into the managers office. “I need to ask you a favour” he says. “There’s a school group coming tomorrow especially to see the silverback gorilla but he died earlier today. What I want you to do is dress up in a gorilla suit and pose as the gorilla to avoid disappointment.”

“No problem” says the man. “This should be fun.” The next day he is in the enclosure nice and early in his gorilla suit clowning around and trying to act like any real gorilla would. The children arrive and he starts to act up for them and they all start to laugh at him. He starts to swing on the rope swing and gets quite a good reception. This encourages him a bit too much and he gets over confident and goes too high. He falls off in mid air and lands straight in the lion cage. Surrounded by lions and scared he takes the head of his suit off and screams “Help, help, I’m not really a gorilla.” One lion moves closer to him and whispers. “shut the hell up or you’ll get us all fired.”


An old lady looks out her kictchen window to see a gorilla up in a tree in her front yard. She calls the dog catcher. We don’t handle that large of an animal. Why not call the gorilla catcher? So, Ethel called and in a little bit a van pulls up. A man gets out and asks where is the gorilla? Ethel shows him the gorilla in the tree. So he goes back to the van and returns with a snarling pit bull, handcuffs and a shotgun. Ethel asks how do you expect to catch the gorilla? I’m going to climb the tree and knock him out of the tree. When he falls out, this specially trained attack dog grabs him by the nuts and paralyzes with pain, then you slap on the cuffs and we’ve got him. Oh- so what’s the shotgun for?If the gorilla knocks me out of the tree, shoot that damn dog!

One day, while an elephant was walking through the woods, she got a thorn stuck in her foot. She saw an ant passing and asked him to help
her get the thorn out.

The ant asked, “What do I get in return?”
The elephant replied, “If you get it out, I’ll have sex with you.”

So the ant gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out he looks up at the elephant and says “OK it’s out, are you ready?”. The elephant thinks, “Hey, what’s a little ant gonna do anyways?” The ant climbs up and starts to work away. Just then a monkey overhead drops a coconut on the elephant’s head. “Ouch” screams the elephant, and the ant responds, “Yeah, take it all bitch.”

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"Animal Jokes" by was published on February 5th, 2008 and is listed in Funny.

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